Somewhere in between…

Is it just me, mind all over the place, not sure if your happy or sad? I don’t generally feel sad but I feel like I’m on some neutral ground. I’m hovering right in between in the purgatory of life. I don’t know where I am or what I am or where my place is supposed to be. I am just gliding with life day by day kind of existing. 

I feel like I could be in a stage of reflection where I’m supposed to be evaluating it all. Maybe I’m not happy or sad. Maybe I’m just mid transformation and its part of the changing leaves and the season. Something big may be coming. Life may be about to bring opportunity and excitement to my life. I feel like that’s going to happen. I’ve felt it for a while now. I’m ready for it to grace me with its presence so I can embrace it all.  

 I could be totally wrong though. I don’t know where the hell I am. Am I supposed to be doing something? Am I supposed to be focusing on something and working hard to get somewhere? I just don’t know where that is. Most people can tell you exactly where they want to be in 5-10 years. Most women can tell you exactly what they picture their wedding to be like. Actually, they have known every detail since they were much younger. However, I can’t tell you those things. I just don’t know. I don’t know what my wedding will be like. I don’t know what future I want. There were times in the past where I had direction and goals and I worked hard and achieved them. Now, I don’t know where to go next. There are some things I want but nothing I’m so crazy about.  

 I just want to know, where I am? Am I happy, am I sad, or am I just stuck somewhere in between, waiting for what’s about to launch?